Let's talk about it, relationships. And let's face it, relationships are one of the hardest thing to do in life. We wish for the perfect person for us. We constantly look for that special someone, and what happens? It some how screws up and kicks us while we're down. But why? Why do we look for a companion? And on the discussion of relationships what do you think of long distance relationships (LDR)? I've been thinking about them a lot lately because of my boyfriend. And I've created a list to help me decide what I think of them:
LDR vs Local!
When it comes to... Alone time
LDR
Pro: When it comes to alone time, you never have to worry about hurting your partners feelings! No "I'll make it up to you if you let me go out..." You are your own master!
Con: In a long distance relationship you are constantly alone without your partner. Sure you have your friends you can go out with but theres no "Let's stay in and watch a movie together on the couch!" night. If you want to do that, you're alone.
Local
Pro: You can ask for alone time knowing later on you can just go see your partner. No worrying about if you'll have to wait up and talk to them on the phone. Just text, go and done.
Con: Sometimes it can be hard to get alone time without hurting the other persons feelings. How do you tell someone "No go home and sleep in your own bed for once!" without sounding rude?
When it comes to... Gift giving
LDR
Pro: Scenario: You're busy at work, school, friends whatever, and you can't make it to the store to buy a gift for your special one. No problem! You can blame it on the postal strike delaying things! (This only works if you're in Canada!) "Yeah Hunny.. I mailed your gift last week.. it never got there? Uh strange!"
Con: First of all you're limited in a way in what you can buy. If you want to get them a big present, you might have a problem. Theres a size limit at times, and I don't know about you guys, but I would rather save that 70 dollar postal delivery fee.
Bonus: The thing with LDR we tend to think of the gifts we do get as more special, since it took longer to receive and such. Maybe it did take a month to arrive, but the wait was worth it.
Local
Pro: You can have more fun with gifts. Perhaps its their birthday, not only can you get them a gift but you can take them out to a restaurant. Or plan a special evening together. The possibilities are endless!
Con: Since you guys do live locally maybe the other person is expecting to be treated better. Maybe they aren't just expected a gift but multiple and a dinner/movie! You just never know with that! (That's when you need to talk to your partner and see what they want to do for that special occasion.)
Bonus: Either LDR or local relationships you can always surprise the person with a gift!
When it comes to... 'Deep meaningful Conversation"
Before we can go any further let me explain what deep meaningful conversation really is! This is a code my boyfriend *Pat and I use for... sex.
LDR
Pro: Well if you have a low sex drive to begin with LDR's are perfect for you! You two don't do it as often or at all. On the other hand if you need that conversation with them that's when you can try new things, such as using the phone or webcam. Theres also sites that offer you two the naughtiness you need, perhaps try second life (http://secondlife.com/) or something? So you two can go out on a 'date' together (well your avatars!) before you score the big O.
Con: Can't see each other when the conversation gets intense!! All you can really do is sit it out, or rub it out yourself. So exciting right?
Local:
Pro: No need to wait to get it out of your systems! You see each other and decide the moment is right and you jump right into it! (With protection of course!) when local you can also try new things you can't do alone or in a LDR, such as bondage. Can't tie yourself up to the bed!
Con: You can reach the bottom of the cookie jar only to pull out a stale cookie. Happens to the best of us. Maybe our soup just isn't spicy anymore, and we need a new recipe. Times like these can be hard to snap out of of. You've ate the same sandwich too many time to be enjoyable.
When it comes to... Communicating.
Note: There is a difference between talking and communicating. Talking involves a simple "Hey, how are you?" Compared to "How are you feeling and let me listen to your problems." Understand?
LDR
Pro: When in a long distance relationship all you have is talking and communicating. You aren't there to understand what's going on with the other persons life. You can't just know what's going on, unless the person tells you. This is where good communication comes in place, since it's a LDR you have to make it work even if that's sending a text saying you'll be away all day. Communication is the key!
Con: It's rough, sometimes at the end of the day all you want to do is crawl into bed and say 'screw it, i'll call them tomorrow' this is where the communication can break down, jut like in any relationship. It's just harder when it's an LDR since that's all you have to rely on.
Local
Pro: Since it's local the people involved can talk and hang out whenever they want. It doesn't just depend on talking with each other, you can sit there in comfortable silence and know exactly what the other person is thinking.
Con: Since it's local and such sometimes the people involved can forget that theres more to a relationship than the physical. Not just sex but holding hands and such. Yes physical is important but so is the emotional part of a relationship!
Well looking at that you can tell theres issues with both types of relationships. These are just my personal views, maybe you don't agree to them and that's fine. I just think that any relationship there's going to be trouble, everyone fights. You're going to hurt no matter who you're with in a relationship, you just have to find the one you can hurt for and make it worth wild.
Well that's pretty much what I think. I think it's important to listen to what your LDR or local relationship wants! It's like a plant, don't forget to nurture it.
*Names have been changed.
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