Friends

That's right it's a new month, so a new template is up! I like to keep things fresh.

I asked my friend Ginger* what I should blog about. She told me to blog about friends. I believe she is right.

The first thing you must know about me is that I'm a simple person, I enjoy the company of people and when I make friends I tend to have great friends. I'm not that girl who has 400 friends on Facebook. Rather, I have less than 120, and I know each of their names. The thing is Facebook is not a great judgement of friends. Because if you took out all my cousins who I have to be 'friends' with, took out Pats*  family, then my acquaintances  from school you would be left with a lot lot less.

I have just a hand full of good friends that I actually enjoy being with. I don't believe in having friends, than your close friends, than you BFF. I have good friends that I love equally. That's how I roll man.

School starts on September 4th. I'm EXTREMELY happy about this. I haven't seen a few faces since the summer started and to be honest, I can't love to hug them and take them out for a good time!

*Names have been changed.

Sex.

I've been thinking lately about :
*** NOT FOR THOSE WHO ARE PRUDISH/ UNDER THE LEGAL AGE IN SAID COUNTRY/OR just don't like the topic of sex. If so continue on to the bottom!***


I've been thinking lately about the topic of sex. Yes that's right, the taboo, the social norm, the whatever you want to call it. The reason I'm thinking about sex is because Sex and the City. For those who don't like the television show, well you're missing out on some good stuff!

Now this post isn't about "oh wowies let's talk about sexies!"  No, I've been thinking, has the morale and the age of those having sex gone down in recent times? Obviously, yes young girls were sold as brides to older men, or those of the same age and expected to breed.

But what about now? In 2011 do you believe it's still morally right to have young woman/men go around and have sex? I feel as though those who are above 18+ it's okay, because they are a legal adult and can make decisions. I'm against teenagers who are 14 having sex and having children. I believe now in this day and age that it's not acceptable... Yes it has always happened I know that. I think that schools should provide better sex ed though. I mean real sex ed. Not the DON'T HAVE SEX, AIDS, DIE. Type. The actual, "This is a condom, and if you feel ready..." sort.

I cannot stop anyone from having sex no matter how young, but I still believe that it should be protected and safe. Teach your kids to have safer sex before they get knocked up!

Tattoos Love or Regret?

So most of us can agree that tattoos have been around for .. well as long as civilization or longer. But that's not what my post about, yes we can argue that tattoos are 'new' and things like that, but the real reason of this post is are tattoos a good idea?


To be fair I will note that I have three tattoos. So I shall try not to be bias, but we all know that's not possible, everyone is bias at one point, even without meaning it.

Anyway, let's continue!

Lately I have been thinking about tattoos more recently. I look at mine on my wrist, and I go back and forth on it, Do I really love it, or has the phase past? Am I always going to think like this?  Don't get me wrong, I love it, I really do, but sometimes I wish it wasn't there, I wish it was in another area of my body, more easy to cover up than my wrist. Every time someone see's me, they look at my arm, and go "Oh what a cute bear!" That's great that you think my panda is cute and all but, really, can't you ask about the back story, or something other than, "Is that a bear?" Hmm.. I don't know why I should be complaining, I obviously put it there with the intention of allowing people to see it. I sometimes wish it was  just in another area.
That is why, I am thinking of getting it removed. Yes I had it for three years and it is the only tattoo I have with.. a small amount of regret. I would probably just get it re-done but in another spot.
On the other hand, I made the commitment should I just live up to it?

C'est la vie!

*Names have been Changed.

What is love?

Sorry about the title, the only thing I could really think of that would match this post. No it's not about that song. Baby don't hurt me- ... carrying on!

So a few updates about life before we continue to the heavy duty things. 

1. I never got a reply back from Lisa See yet. I don't think I ever will, since she is very busy. I really want a reply though, I want to read what she has to  say about the questions and things I asked! No I won't tell you what I asked, unless you know.. I get a reply.

2. I was busy this weekend once again. I went with my mom and sister to the United States of America. Yeah,  it was alright but it made me realize why and what I love about Canada. No stupid 'LANE ENDING' and bam it ends almost causing you to hit another car. Or no ... really good discounts... or... good food... or... I'm sticking to my story, Canada is great!  I had a great time, and bought things I needed for school. Which I am excited about.

3. Less than a month now until school! I'm so excited to go back, you have no idea reader.

4. This Friday is my last day of work. I am PUMPED. I'm so ready to be done work, it's boring and unproductive towards anything useful. It made me realize that I want to work for something that is needed and useful, not something boring and gross.

5, This Friday after lunch, since we finish at 12 on Fridays, I shall be driving to see *Pat. I don't know how long I shall be staying but I do know it's going to be grande. I miss him and it's only been two weeks since I last saw him! 

 Now to the dirty and gritty of this post:

When is the right time to fall in love with some one? Do you know? Does it just happen? 

I believe that no one loves each other right away, that it takes time to actually be in love. I also don't believe when Teenagers say "I love you!" To their boyfriends of a month, just isn't possible. But when is the right time? Is it only after you realize or do you just know that you love them? 

I've been in two long term relationships so far, and on my third now, but even still.. I don't know when or how we fall in love. It's so confusing. Is it that first moment when you whisper 'I love them' to yourself or does it take more?

Oh so many answers. I need some advice! 

I think... personally we just... ugh...  I'll figure this out eventually..

*Names have been changed.

Great Weekend

Hello all my readers. You must be wondering "WHY YOU NO POST?" So yes, I'll be explaining why I didn't post what seems like.. years.

First of all, at my work we had a great grand meeting that I had to help out with Thursday and Friday. So my usual time of posting at work, I was actually down some where else and doing WORK! Also on Thursday I had to pick up *Pat from the bus terminal since he came down to see me! That was a good time. I missed him so much, since I didn't see him for almost two months. I must say that is the longest time I ever went by without seeing him physically. That is saying something!

What else.. we went to see two concerts this weekend with the family. That helped a lot. *Pat told me "Before coming here, I had doubts, but holding you at the concerts made all the doubts go away." So sweet.. I like him so much! No, no love yet. That feeling is still... not there? It's only been four months. Give me a break.

The weekend was filled with so many things. So busy. Last night *Pat and I went to see the new Harry Potter. It was so sad..I felt like crying when they showed little Snape. He had it so rough! Even though I knew... ***********SPOILER ALERT.*********************** he dies, it still makes it so sad. it doesn't change the fact of anything. IT'S SAD.

Now, what is new and excting is I e-mailed my favourite author Lisa See. I hope she gives me a reply. That would be fantastic. I would die of happiness. Hah!

So now I must go do other things, and I am extremely tired today, I woke up at 6 to drive *Pat to the train station. Ah well. Life goes on!

*Names have been changed.

ps; if you see any spelling mistakes, ignore. I'm too tired to proof read.

It came to me..

in  a dream! I was trying to sleep last night and I got the best novel idea, EVER. Well maybe not ever because I don't think I could ever beat novels like 1984 or Harry Potter when it comes to originality but still, I'm excited.

Also, *Pat is coming. To my house. TOMORROW. I'm so excited my readers! I haven't seen him in a long while. So I shall be taking perhaps a small leave of blogging until Monday. Since tomorrow is our great work office thing, and he's coming and all that fun stuff!

I also plan on going to go see Harry Potter this weekend. I hope it's good as the novel were!! If not.. well.. we'll see right?

Question, what's your favourite novel? Is it something new and modern or a good classic? Let me know! I need things to read lovelies!

*Names have been changed.



Ps: What should I write about in my blogs? Should I continue the mix of my life and interests with a touch of what's going on in the world? What do you think?

Dreams

I've been busy because of work. It's the last week before an important event and we're running around like chickens without our heads. Me? I'm done my work, I'm relaxing. Don't get me wrong, I still help out and do what I'm told, but you know.

This post though isn't about work though, it's about something better than that.

I've currently been reading Dreams Of Joy by Lisa see, like I said in my earlier posts. Although I'm almost finish, just about 100 pages left. Not too much. Because I've been reading this novel I looked up Lisa Sees' website and began reading, and because of her I got the best piece of advice "Write 1000 words a day"is essentially it. But I'm thinking, can you really do that?  Can you force yourself to write or is it a natural process for everyone? Maybe I should try to write a 1000 words a day though, considering I've been trying for what seems like years to write a novel, (I'm 20 so imagine!)

Oh I feel so busy though. I want to watch all the episodes of Inuyasha, read the books I want, finish a video game, and work. How do I do this?! I feel like I don't have enough time. I think once I'm done my 8 week work program I'm going to ... I have no idea... See I'm so lost!

Well somewhat I do have a plan. I plan to read before bed, like I always do, so that helps on the book thing. But what about the rest? Do I just.. dive in and do it until it's finished or do I pace it out? Ha... I like to pretend I'm good at organizing but terrible at time management. Oh woe.. And to think I'm in University! I should be used to these things. But I'm not, I miss the days of high school when everything was simple! Yeah that's right.. actually no, I don't want those days again! I'll figure something out.

The Pros and Cons of Relationships

Let's talk about it, relationships. And let's face it, relationships are one of the hardest thing to do in life.  We wish for the perfect person for us. We constantly look for that special someone, and what happens? It some how screws up and kicks us while we're down. But why? Why do we look for a companion?  And on the discussion of relationships what do you think of long distance relationships (LDR)? I've been thinking about them a lot lately because of my boyfriend. And I've created a list to help me decide what I think of them:

LDR vs Local!

When it comes to... Alone time
LDR 
Pro: When it comes to alone time, you never have to worry about hurting your partners feelings! No "I'll make it up to you if you let me go out..." You are your own master!
Con: In a long distance relationship you are constantly alone without your partner. Sure you have your friends you can go out with but theres no "Let's stay in and watch a movie together on the couch!" night. If you want to do that, you're alone.

Local
Pro: You can ask for alone time knowing later on you can just go see your partner. No worrying about if  you'll have to wait up and talk to them on the phone. Just text, go and done.
Con: Sometimes it can be hard to get alone time without hurting the other persons feelings. How do you tell someone "No go home and sleep in your own bed for once!" without sounding rude?



When it comes to... Gift giving
LDR
Pro: Scenario: You're busy at work, school, friends whatever, and you can't make it to the store to buy a gift for your special one. No problem! You can blame it on the postal strike delaying things! (This only works if you're in Canada!) "Yeah Hunny.. I mailed your gift last week.. it never got there? Uh strange!"
Con: First of all you're limited in a way in what you can buy. If you want to get them a big present, you might have a problem. Theres a size limit at times, and I don't know about you guys, but I would rather save that 70 dollar postal delivery fee.
Bonus: The thing with LDR we tend to think of the gifts we do get as more special, since it took longer to receive and such.  Maybe it did take a month to arrive, but the wait was worth it.


Local
Pro: You can have more fun with gifts. Perhaps its their birthday, not only can you get them a gift but you can take them out to a restaurant. Or plan a special evening together. The possibilities are endless!
Con: Since you guys do live locally maybe the other person is expecting to be treated better. Maybe they aren't just expected a gift but multiple and a dinner/movie! You just never know with that! (That's when you need to talk to your partner and see what they want to do for that special occasion.)
Bonus: Either LDR or local relationships you can always surprise the person with a gift!


When it comes to... 'Deep meaningful Conversation"
Before we can go any further let me explain what deep meaningful conversation really is! This is  a code my boyfriend *Pat and I use for... sex.

LDR
Pro: Well if you have a low sex drive to begin with LDR's are perfect for you! You two don't do it as often or at all.  On the other hand if you need that conversation with them that's when you can try new things, such as using the phone or webcam. Theres also sites that offer you two the naughtiness you need, perhaps try second life (http://secondlife.com/)  or something? So you two can go out on a 'date' together (well your avatars!) before you score the big O.
Con: Can't see each other when the conversation gets intense!! All you can really do is sit it out, or rub it out yourself. So exciting right?

Local:
Pro:  No need to wait to get it out of your systems! You see each other and decide the moment is right and you jump right into it! (With protection of course!) when local you can also try new things you can't do alone or in a LDR, such as bondage. Can't tie yourself up to the bed!
Con: You can reach the bottom of the cookie jar only to pull out a stale cookie. Happens to the best of us. Maybe our soup just isn't spicy anymore, and we need a new recipe. Times like these can be hard to snap out of of.  You've ate the same sandwich too many time to be enjoyable.

When it comes to... Communicating.
Note: There is a difference between talking and communicating. Talking involves a simple "Hey, how are you?" Compared to "How are you feeling and let me listen to your problems." Understand?


LDR 
Pro: When in a long distance relationship all you have is talking and communicating. You aren't there to understand what's going on with the other persons life. You can't just know what's going on, unless the person tells you. This is where good communication comes in place, since it's a LDR you have to make it work even if that's sending a text saying you'll be away all day. Communication is the key!
Con: It's rough, sometimes at the end of the day all you want to do is crawl into bed and say 'screw it, i'll call them tomorrow' this is where the communication can break down, jut like in any relationship. It's just harder when it's an LDR since that's all you have to rely on.

Local
Pro: Since it's local the people involved can talk and hang out whenever they want. It doesn't just depend on talking with each other, you can sit there in comfortable silence and know exactly what the other person is thinking.
Con: Since it's local and such sometimes the people involved can forget that theres more to a relationship than the physical. Not just sex but holding hands and such. Yes physical is important but so is the emotional part of a relationship!

Well looking at that you can tell theres issues with both types of relationships. These are just my personal views, maybe you don't agree to them and that's fine. I just think that any relationship there's going to be trouble, everyone fights. You're going to hurt no matter who you're with in a relationship, you just have to find the one you can hurt for and make it worth wild.

Well that's pretty much what I think. I think it's important to listen to what your LDR or local relationship wants! It's like a plant, don't forget to nurture it.

*Names have been changed.

Rant?

Hello every single reader. I've been thinking, it sucks to be a woman at times. First of all you bleed, which makes you emotional. You have hormones that go crazy, which makes you emotional. Everything makes you cry at times!! It sucks. It also doesn't help that I'm on birth control and anti depressants that no longer work for me. Which makes my hormones and chemicals in my brain even more crazy which makes me cry for no reason.

Also we tend to over analyze things. Which can just hurt us in the end. I just want to go with the flow, not have little arguments with *Pat. I feel bad for him, he doesn't need a girlfriend that every other week gets angry/cry and such.  I feel terrible. I believe I need therapy to help myself out, and perhaps a new prescription.  I know this isn't me when I cry for no reason or get upset over little things. I just want to be my happy self again. Without all the tears. I just want to be the good girlfriend like I was when he and I were at university. Not him doubting our relationship because of me and the distance also. I just want to make it up to him some how.

*Names have been changed.

Excitement and sick.

Hello my single reader out there. Or perhaps my two readers. Either way hey!

Let us start with the bad and work our way to the good. The first terrible news is that my father has been in the hospital for a week now. He was weak and such, and the doctors didn't know what was wrong with him. Thankfully he's doing better now. They said he might be able to come home tonight, I doubt this but hey we can dream!

The second is that I'm extremely tired, and have been all week due to the lack of sleep. You don't know how excited I am to finish work at 12 and go home and take a nap. It's my high point of Friday night. Yeah I'm interesting!

Also I've experienced what my eye doctor told me is an optical migraine yesterday.  I was at work reading online for work, and out of no where, I was having blurred vision, followed by odd 'floaters' in my vision. Eventually I also had what seemed like flashing lights on the side of my vision. I freaked out and went to my eye doctor, well my sister told me to who in fact drove me because I couldn't. He told me it was an optical migraine and that an episode of lights and such should only be around for 10-14 minutes, and that half an hour like I had was a longer episode. He also said the pain will follow. Little did he know I felt like throwing up on his floor with severe headache when he said that. Haaaaa. Well thankfully I was able to sleep it off, but my god, I hope that sort of migraine never happens again, it was so scary and was the worse pain ever. I felt dizzy, sick to my stomach and the whole deal.

Please, I hope it doesn't happen again. Please brain don't do it again. hahah.

Now on to the good news!

I recently wanted to Game X* and traded in/sold some of my old videos game. I got 37 dollars worth of store credit which is great. I bought Eternal Sonata, I'm not too sure how it plays since I recently bought it and will only start it tonight. And also two final fantasy music CDS which include the Final Fantasy X -2 piano soundtrack. Which I must say the music in that game is better than the actual game! And since my ex took, or I left it at his apartment, a new link cable for my gameboy colour.  I know right?! Now I can finally transfer/trade over my old pokemon to my newer games, if I can! Excitement~

Another great development is that Pat* took time off to come see me in two weeks! I hope he can come, it's not the time or money that's going to be difficult is finding a way down, since the buses hate us and theres not train stations around him. We'll find something. I'll keep you posted on the adventures of Pat* and his hopefully, wonderful time here!

Now I should really be getting back to work now so until next time!

*Names have been changed.


ps; Am I weird for liking certain keyboard to type? At work I'm currently using a macbook pro and I'm in love with the keyboard. I feel inspired to write, but at home I don't want to write on my keyboard, connection or just mind games?

Long Weekend

It's been a while since I updated you guys on anything. That is because I took the weekend to myself. Which means relaxing! Since we worked on Canada day we got Monday off. That was great since I needed all that extra sleep. You can't see it but right now I just want to curl under my desk and sleep. Tempting if no one could see me.

I'm also debating if I want to quit work or not. I understand that is only an 8 week program and I'm 4 weeks in but I really do not like it. I looked over my work for today and I realized that I only have a few things to do for today. Which will take me less than the morning to do. I know it's easy and I get money but at the same time I just want to be home, enjoying my summer vacation and not worrying while I'm at work.

There has been things going on with my Dad's health lately, that is all I'm going to tell.

On the brighter side of life Pat* told me he might be able to come down at the end of July!! That is amazing! I hope he comes since the last time I seen him was.. um.. The 4th of June I believe? I'm not entirely sure don't quote me on that. I believe it was then. Ah well! I could have went down on my long weekend but in his mood of being angry at something he told me not to come down, which he regretted saying later! Poor guy.

Ah well, might as well get back to work, I ended up killing about five minutes with this post! Better than nothing!

*Names have been changed.

This Society Needs To Fall

In the media today, I'm sure if I turned on the television I would see a skinny half naked female trying to sell something.

Why does the Western society see barely healthy females as 'beauty'? Can't we just all understand that maybe if we just embraced how we look for once we can be happy instead of digesting diet pills? Although, if the females weren't so scared of being "fat" the companies that make all these diet products would surely fall.

My favourite of all time though is when you have this perfectly size girl and she looks at herself in the mirror thinking that she looks so fat. When it obviously isn't the case at all. She can be the perfect weight for her height but she still would think she's over weight. It's sad!

This just doesn't only for females, males must do it also.

Not only the whole stereotype of boys just want skinny girls, but they must be worried about their weight too. The ads and society pushes men to look built and strong, to have a 6 pack. Why can't we just get it some just can't.

Boys and girls and everyone in between can't look like that photoshop model on the cover of the latest magazine. You can't compare to something that isn't real.

I just think, no one should be skinny to look good, I think people should want to be healthy.

More to come, Frey*.

*Names have been changed.

Don't You Just Love

Today is an excellent day.

I started up community college, got all my courses ready.

Got to talk to Alexander* 

He told me.. Well!~ You can just imagine what he told me for the first time that makes me incredibly happy!!

Too happy to write about anything.

Next post, media related most likely!

..Teheheh!

More to Come! Frey*.

*Names have been changed.

I have a goal

I have this really strange goal. I want someone to get my signature, tattooed on them someplace. 

And why you ask single reader? I think it would be a funny story for their children and then some! Also, my name would be immortalized, somewhat! My friend Larissa* told me she would do it, but I have a feeling she is just saying yes just to amuse me.

Do you think this is a strange goal? Of course it is, but it doesn't mean it's any less important than any other goal. I have serious goals, and funny-stupid goals like this one. Everyone looks at me strange a bit when they see I have a goal list posted on my wall next to my bed. Is it really strange that I have goals I want to complete before I kick the bucket? I don't think so. I'm currently working on the 'finish novel' goal. I'm not sure how long that one is going to take! Maybe a bit... a few years? We'll see! Although, I should try to finish that novel, I think my name would be a bit more immortalized with paper than ink, right? 

More to come, Frey*.

*Names have been changed.

A post of what I want to do

I never realized, well it didn't click, but I really do like classical music. I don't understand why we humans are against it at times. Is it because those who listen to classical music are strange in a way? Is it since classical music isn't very popular anymore, or isn't mainstream like the rest of the recycle garbage we like to call 'music'?

I don't think I can actually answer that, can you, single reader? 

Any who, I want to go to a classical concert of some sort. I don't want to go by myself. Hopefully I get score a date to one! (Boyfriend, friend, parents, whatever.) We'll see how it turns out! Mostly, since, we have no concerts like that from where I am.

I think it would be an interesting experience. Wouldn't it be better to hear the flutes or violins in person than it would on recording? Such raw power and emotions coming from simple instruments. 

I'm done being an old person now, haaaaah..ah....

More to come, Frey*.

*Names have been changed.

Promises

Are promises worth more when you promise something to yourself, or to another person? Or vise versa? It seems everyone makes a promise or two to themselves or others, but then breaks them. Are they just disposable words to make people feel good? What's the point of promising anything, if in the end you know you'll just break it.

I made a few promises to myself, I broke them. Ha. Mostly because there was one I made to myself, then because of how things progressed with Alexander* I had to break it.  Just about long distance, that's all I'm saying.

When anyone promises me anything, sometimes I just know when they won't keep the promise. That they're just saying it to use me, hurt me, or just to shut me up. 

What's the point ? 

I wish people knew that when you keep a promise, it can be rewarding. No matter what, or how hard it gets. In the end, I think it's worth it. Except you know, if the promise is "I promise I'll give you the world." Can't happen!

I also don't know how I feel, or stand, on the topic of Promise Rings. I once had a a promise ring from an Ex. I'm unsure how I ever felt about it.  But I do know, if anyone was to give me another promise ring, I want to know right away what the promise is for. This makes no sense, but I rather like the idea of promise rings?

More to come, Frey*.

*Names have been changed.